No pictures or anything exciting to post. Just a little to get off my chest. I feel stuck lately and I think it has to do with our eventual move to Wisconsin. The excitement that I initially felt when Southwest announced the opening of Milwaukee as a new destination has been replaced by this awkward feeling of not knowing what the future holds. I had talked myself up about the move so much at the beginning that I find myself being let down as the days go on.
There are downers at my work who tell me I might not have enough seniority to make it into the station, there is the long wait for Southwest to actually post the openings followed by another long wait for them to close the bid and announce who gets to go, there is just a general feeling of being stuck between what could be and what is now.
My focus is gone and I have a hard time finding inspiration to do anything more than the bare minimum until I know for sure what we will be doing. I can’t plan my vacations because I don’t know if I will be using those days for the move or if I will end up losing them because I waited so long. School has become much more difficult because I think about what might happen and the time I will need to do certain things that will interfere with the education I am trying to complete.
I find myself wondering around the house, not really doing anything. It is like I am in limbo and I am tired and drained of energy. All I need is a go or no go so that I can get on with my life and that of my family. All I need is for my company to hurry and tell me whether I will be moving or not. All I need is to know the outcome of all this waiting so I can decide what the next step is.
I’m sure this will not last forever. It is the same feeling I had when we were booted out of our last house so they could do renovations. I was sad to go, but once I knew it was going to happen, I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Not knowing is probably the worst part. In my head I am already moved and my kids are going to school and my husband has a new job, but here I am, still in California and still waiting for an answer.
1 comment:
I know what you're feeling and it sucks!! That is the feeling I've had for the last 5 years--hopefully you won't have to wait a fraction of that!!
We are now (mostly) in our own home and it is such a relief. Now just gotta wait for all the hook ups and get the beds over.
{{{HUGGGS}}}
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